Emotion Beneath The Ice

This is the time of rainy evening

I had stressful long day

So I went to bar and I had small of Jonny walker

After some time I got annoyed because of the loud music in bar

So I left outside to have smoke and then go home

 

I went to one near tea stalls to brought Marlboro

That time I saw her talking over the call

Our eyes does clicked each other for the moments

My mind said something like this
“she is beautiful girl and she has shiny eyes”

I can see them below her specs staring at me

 

A guy gave me my stuff and I left from there toward open spaces

Where I lighted my smoke

I was thinking about the where is my life is taking me

Meanwhile I saw her again couple of steps besides me

She was holding her phone checking things which doesn’t make sense

 

I have been in many situations so I knew why she was acting like that

She must in bad situation where she is not sure what she wants

 

I wanted to approach her and ask her out

 

So I took deep breath and gather some courage

I went to her

 

I: hey!!!

She: hey!! Yes!!! (She wasn’t surprise as if she was expecting me)

 

I was nervous I forget what I wanted to say to her

 

I : look I don’t know but I felt that you look stressed out and I thought may be I can help you out

 

Before she says something

 

I: you don’t have to tell me your name or anything so you will be complete Stanger for me and I can advise you well

 

She: Oh yeah!!

And we smiled

 

I: so tell me what is it that bothering you this much

 

I: boyfriend issues?

 

She: yes!! It’s like that he is in Delhi

It’s a long distance problem

 

I: aha!! I see you know what!!
I don’t want to say this but long distance normally never works

I have been in that situation.

 

She: exactly!!!! He wants to get married and I am not ready for it.

 

I: it doesn’t look like much of problem. Your parents are not agreeing?

 

She: no they are ok with it.

 

She: it is like I am not sure what I want in life.

I: Do you love him? If you do go for it

And if you are not in love with him think twice

He is not wrong but you both want different things

 

She took as pause to reply me and I knew she don’t love him

 

She: I am not sure

I: I know exactly what is happening to you. You are addicted of talking to him

 

It is like when you are not in love with the person but you still stick to the person because you like them to be around

 

I: you better broke up with him because it will more difficult with respect to time

.

She: yes!! You are right

I: don’t accept thing, which you can’t accept it later in life as if this is life-changing decision

 

We didn’t realize we were talking from long time
She: may I have your cigarette?

I: yeah sure here you go but its hard one you sure about it

 

She: yeah cool any will work.

 

I: OK!!

 

We lighted it up

 

She: what is your story!!!

 

I: Oh yeah sure my story. I am doing nothing these days. I am here to look for job.

 

I wanted change in life so I just landed day before in this town.

She: what you were doing before
I: I am businessperson I just do thing whatever I want in life

She: that is nice!!!

 

I notice she is uncomfortable a lot

 

I: are you ok????
She: I am feeling dizziness
I: do you want to sit??

She was so out of her she was unable to hear me may be
Few seconds after

she: can you please drop in auto. I need to go home.
I: oh yes! Sure . lets go

we went to side road

 

I: where you want to go?
She: Andheri

 

I: ok!!

 

I asked the auto driver and we set in the auto

I was holding her hand

 

I: are you ok???? Do you want water?

She: no, I am not ok.. what you gave me???

 

I laugh out

 

I: oh now I see you smoked my cigarette, which is very strong

That why you are feeling so high

 

I: don’t worry you will be fine in few minutes

 

She: yes I am feeling normal now Thank god!! I was so worried that who is that man and what he gave me

We bust laugh out

 

I: don’t worry I am not kind that person. I am coming to drop you and I will come back then.

 

She: that is so nice of you!!! But I will not going to tell you my name!! I am going to remember you till my life

 

I: Me too

 

I drop her at her near to her building.

 

I: how I will remember you
she: light

I:I say I wish to see you light

She: smiled

I: bye take care
she: bye take care

 

I went back home that night and I think about her all night

 

 

To be continue……….

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Will you love me again that is the only thing I need?

 

Will you love me again that is the only thing I need?

 

Will you be my side even if it’s dark?

I need your shine even if I am blind

 

Will you hear my voice in my silence?

I need your words even if I am deaf

 

Riding on faith of your love

Lonely yet not alone

Thirsty yet not dying

Helpless yet not hopeless

 

I have seen shine of love in your eyes

Just don’t let it fad away

 

I have hear your heart beats growing faster

Just don’t let it slow down

 

Will you love me again that is the only thing I need?

Wrong man at the right time!!!

 

It’s been long that I hadn’t seen her

I used to stalk her and dream about her

But I always knew. I am way out her league

 

It was my lucky day I can say

I got a text, which gave Goosebumps

It was just “HI” but it was from her

I had crush on her but never been able tell about it

 

We started conversation firstly it was formal

I didn’t know when I became so comfortable

I said her directly about my crush on her

She laughed and said, “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

 

I told her. I never had guts to say it as well as

I was with someone else at that time

 

We talked much then about life and thinking and all

We planned to meet up and have coffee or something

I had great talking with her as well as she enjoyed the time

Soon I have started observing her

 

I realized or judged that she was in pain

Pain, which she would try to hide under her beautiful smile

I had been always great exploiter

I didn’t want to see her sadness

 

I thought I can take her out from that stress

I can teach her how to deflect such emotional wave

This is what I have did all my life

If I can’t destroy the problem I will simply repel it.

 

I always desired for her and I wanted to come close to her

But not without her will

 

Some point of time while I was planning these in my head

I marked she was looking into my eyes

Those eyes were melting me

Within next moment I was in another world

 

She has beautiful crystal shining eyes

Her figure is well curved like model have

Her hair is like beautiful cloud covering the sun

Her skin is like smooth like water

 

We were so close to each other

This is what I have ever wished for

I kissed her and we started making love

I can call it was golden era

 

She was out of her pain and hell

She has learned something at that time I don’t know what exactly

Which has given her strength to see things with another perspective

On the other side I was wondering what I had got from life

Something I wished for. It was like a kid getting box of candies from no where

 

I can’t expect more than this from life

It was the only time we had done something like that

We had never talked about it afterword’s

She never expressed that she loved me somewhere

It was just that she didn’t want me to know that

 

Sometimes life gives us turns, which are unexpected

You just have to take that turn as we did

 

I know I was not worthy for it but

I was just wrong man at the right time!

I hate it when you are away

I hate it when you are away
I ignore you when you are close

Thinking about you while you are next to me
Holding your hand but not you
I have a beautiful image of you
That’s why I don’t want to let it go

Why everything has to change
Why can’t it stay forever the same
I don’t love you; I love us
B’coz Life is empty without your aura

I love you more in my imagination
Deeper than the sea,
powerful than the black hole
I desire you like water in the desert
You are like wind in the storm

I hate it when you are away
I ignore you when you are close

“She told me I would starve for love
Her words were like invisible arrows
cutting my soul like butter on knife 
She didn’t knew but she was starving 
just before I came into her life

she told me she will love me forever
I knew she was lying to her self 
she didn’t want to love me because 
it had nothing left; just pain and regrets

she told me I never loved her
I knew she was lying so that she can take the blame
Yet, she was right I never loved her
but I am going to love her from this day till last

she told me she wished if we had never met
as she didn’t want to fall in unconditional love
She praised me to destroy her
yet I had worship for her beautiful life

what is that which separates two souls 
From loving to taking care of each other

It was love that kept us together
and it was self-love that got us apart”