Package deal

She is package deal
She has given Pleasure with Pain
More she Love’s me so as more she Hate’s me
Her smiles are my happiness so as her eyes give me isolation
Her intense Affection with wild Hatred in actions
Her worlds with Sorrow and the soul wants Vengeance
Her presence given me life so as her absent took me into a twilight

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Difficult choices we make in love

I just reached home after a long day of workload on 14th Feb.
It was almost midnight and I was about to sleep.
Just before I was turning off the lights. My phone started buzzing.
I was expecting some emergency call.

I was a bit shocked but happy as well to see my ex girl friend’s call.

We started our conversation with greetings and asking about each other’s life.

Few minutes later she asked me what is my thought about life and what is my plan with it.

I started to think why did she ask me such a question? And why she wish to know it?

Even with many questions in my mind I said, “I have no plans dear. It’s just one thing in my head which is just to live a life the way it comes to me”

She said “No, what about the marriage?”
I said, “I will do in within a year”

Wherein she asked:, “ Will you marry me?”

Hearing this I was quite startled. I was happy but I was not sure what to say.

I took a paused and said, “ Yes, I would love to dear”

She said ” I have conditions and which are, You have to be my friend for year and I should not ask any questions to her”

I was fine with all her conditions however it was not practically possible to build relationship with conditions like these.

Relations cannot have conditions. It has to simply depend on the situations.

We were having discussion on it for hours and at the end there was no outcome.

Now the questions is: Am I ready for her conditions ? Or Should I move on in life?”

There is no perfect way to conclude it because I love her but at the same time I’m not able to accept her conditions.

I have to make a choice and I have to live with it forever no matter which side I choose.

Emotion Beneath The Ice

This is the time of rainy evening

I had stressful long day

So I went to bar and I had small of Jonny walker

After some time I got annoyed because of the loud music in bar

So I left outside to have smoke and then go home

 

I went to one near tea stalls to brought Marlboro

That time I saw her talking over the call

Our eyes does clicked each other for the moments

My mind said something like this
“she is beautiful girl and she has shiny eyes”

I can see them below her specs staring at me

 

A guy gave me my stuff and I left from there toward open spaces

Where I lighted my smoke

I was thinking about the where is my life is taking me

Meanwhile I saw her again couple of steps besides me

She was holding her phone checking things which doesn’t make sense

 

I have been in many situations so I knew why she was acting like that

She must in bad situation where she is not sure what she wants

 

I wanted to approach her and ask her out

 

So I took deep breath and gather some courage

I went to her

 

I: hey!!!

She: hey!! Yes!!! (She wasn’t surprise as if she was expecting me)

 

I was nervous I forget what I wanted to say to her

 

I : look I don’t know but I felt that you look stressed out and I thought may be I can help you out

 

Before she says something

 

I: you don’t have to tell me your name or anything so you will be complete Stanger for me and I can advise you well

 

She: Oh yeah!!

And we smiled

 

I: so tell me what is it that bothering you this much

 

I: boyfriend issues?

 

She: yes!! It’s like that he is in Delhi

It’s a long distance problem

 

I: aha!! I see you know what!!
I don’t want to say this but long distance normally never works

I have been in that situation.

 

She: exactly!!!! He wants to get married and I am not ready for it.

 

I: it doesn’t look like much of problem. Your parents are not agreeing?

 

She: no they are ok with it.

 

She: it is like I am not sure what I want in life.

I: Do you love him? If you do go for it

And if you are not in love with him think twice

He is not wrong but you both want different things

 

She took as pause to reply me and I knew she don’t love him

 

She: I am not sure

I: I know exactly what is happening to you. You are addicted of talking to him

 

It is like when you are not in love with the person but you still stick to the person because you like them to be around

 

I: you better broke up with him because it will more difficult with respect to time

.

She: yes!! You are right

I: don’t accept thing, which you can’t accept it later in life as if this is life-changing decision

 

We didn’t realize we were talking from long time
She: may I have your cigarette?

I: yeah sure here you go but its hard one you sure about it

 

She: yeah cool any will work.

 

I: OK!!

 

We lighted it up

 

She: what is your story!!!

 

I: Oh yeah sure my story. I am doing nothing these days. I am here to look for job.

 

I wanted change in life so I just landed day before in this town.

She: what you were doing before
I: I am businessperson I just do thing whatever I want in life

She: that is nice!!!

 

I notice she is uncomfortable a lot

 

I: are you ok????
She: I am feeling dizziness
I: do you want to sit??

She was so out of her she was unable to hear me may be
Few seconds after

she: can you please drop in auto. I need to go home.
I: oh yes! Sure . lets go

we went to side road

 

I: where you want to go?
She: Andheri

 

I: ok!!

 

I asked the auto driver and we set in the auto

I was holding her hand

 

I: are you ok???? Do you want water?

She: no, I am not ok.. what you gave me???

 

I laugh out

 

I: oh now I see you smoked my cigarette, which is very strong

That why you are feeling so high

 

I: don’t worry you will be fine in few minutes

 

She: yes I am feeling normal now Thank god!! I was so worried that who is that man and what he gave me

We bust laugh out

 

I: don’t worry I am not kind that person. I am coming to drop you and I will come back then.

 

She: that is so nice of you!!! But I will not going to tell you my name!! I am going to remember you till my life

 

I: Me too

 

I drop her at her near to her building.

 

I: how I will remember you
she: light

I:I say I wish to see you light

She: smiled

I: bye take care
she: bye take care

 

I went back home that night and I think about her all night

 

 

To be continue……….

Will you love me again that is the only thing I need?

 

Will you love me again that is the only thing I need?

 

Will you be my side even if it’s dark?

I need your shine even if I am blind

 

Will you hear my voice in my silence?

I need your words even if I am deaf

 

Riding on faith of your love

Lonely yet not alone

Thirsty yet not dying

Helpless yet not hopeless

 

I have seen shine of love in your eyes

Just don’t let it fad away

 

I have hear your heart beats growing faster

Just don’t let it slow down

 

Will you love me again that is the only thing I need?

Waiting for me to come home

When I come back to home at mid night

Drowsy and exhausted

I sneak into your blanket

Holding you in arms

Whispering to you “I have missed you”

I still remember your sleepy smile

With whispering me back “ missed you so much”

 

We got melt with single touch

I can feel your soul

Drowning me in your love

 

You wake me up with kiss

With coffee in your hand

I can feel your happiness

Holding me close to you

 

You whisper me “lets take shower”

Kissing on my neck

I can feel your pleasure

Healing my wounds

 

I can feel love

Nobody else but just us

 

You know I need to go

I can feel pain in your eyes

Waiting for me even before go

Strengthening my heart

 

You whisper me “come soon”

I can feel your joy

Whispering you back “ I will be back soon”

Waiting for me to come home